1. Always observe the safe sex rules.
2. Decide
on your boundaries and stick to them, no matter how much money
is offered or how broke you are.
3. Remember
being paranoid is almost as bad as the thing you are paranoid
of.
4. As you'll
probably be working for a third of your life, it seems a real
waste of YOUR life to spend it hating what you do.
5. The people
who use professional sex services are the same people we meet
in our own lives, including our mates.
6. YOU are
in charge. No one makes you a victim unless, at a certain level,
you allow them.
7. The sex
business is a career. Very few who start give up at 25, or "just
do it for a couple of years".
8. If you
don't like the idea of this, find another lifestyle.
9. It isn't
all making money (profit) as there are lots of expenses and bills
to be paid.
10. Beginners
normally work for someone else, i.e. in saunas, brothels, drinking
clubs, or for a pimp.
11. Working
for yourself i.e. in a flat or running your own escort agency
costs money and means responsibility.
12. The police
are not out to get you, unless you're really unlucky. It's usually
your own stupid behaviour that attracts attention and that's one
of the reasons for producing these guidelines.
13. Rich
and successful people will rarely take you on for long.
14. Just
because you live with someone, it doesn't make them a pimp. There's
no difference between a whore supporting a mate and a shop girl
supporting a mate.
15. A lot
of the people who live with or support a person who beats them
or forces them into sexwork, have a need for that kind of relationship.
16. Organised
pimping is very different from living with a weak or poor partner.
17. As you
get older, you discover other work options, i.e. mistress, madame
or maid.
18. Prostitution
attracts people who like to give, preferring to be financially
independent and be the bread-winner. In other words, control freaks.
19. If you
want, you can pay tax and be part of the white economy but, for
this you must be organised, get an accountant or, better still,
ask the help of an accountant who is a client.
20. Think
of the sex business as a career, and utilise the profits you make.
21. Get out
of the habit of the daily take. Think of yourself as a business.
Start thinking weekly or preferably, monthly.
22. Try to
pay yourself a weekly wage. If you employ someone, pay them weekly,
and save the rest.
23. Remember
there is no sick pay, no pension, so think ahead. You may get
sick and you will get old.
24. If you
have to lie to everyone around you, you must really ask yourself
why you are doing it.
25. If you
really hate your job or hate yourself doing it, give it up.
26. Be warned,
the sex business is a really tough game and prostitution is the
hardest part of it. It is not for everyone.
27. The
fact that you can earn more money in one day that your mate can
earn in one week, can seriously affect your relationship.
28. If you
respect your client, your client will respect you.
29. If you
think or treat your client as an animal, they may well behave
as one.
30. Misdirected
sexual energy often becomes anger.
31. If you
piss your neighbours off, they will give you a hard time.
32. Having
lots of men going in and out of your premises draws attention.
If that's how you must work, choose an area where no one will
notice or nobody cares.
33. Remember
it's an offence for more than one person to work in a premises,
so be really sensible if you're crossing that line.
34. There's
no point in doing 50 men a week, it will make you want to get
out after a couple of months and spend all your money on rubbish
to cheer yourself up.
35. Remember:
ten men a week is 520 a year. This is a reasonable average.
36. Give
yourself a sensible working week. If you work seven days a week,
that's all your time and you will burn out in a couple of years.
37. Look
nice, smell nice, dress nice and you will feel nice.
38. Remember,
being a slut is part of the fantasy. Start as yourself, play whatever
part is wanted, then return to yourself. This will make your performance
much more fun.
39. It's
all right to have fun and it's all right to enjoy yourself.
40. It's
also all right to come.
41. Remember,
you are always in control.
42. If things
aren't working out between you and a client forgets the money,
stay calm and friendly.
43. There
are good and bad escort agencies. Unfortunately, it's trial and
error from what you choose. Most take one fee in hand. The going
rate is about one third and for that, they should have checked
out the telephone number before they give it to you. They should
also expect you to call them on arriving and leaving the client.
Leave the number and address of each visit at home with them,
and a good friend.
44. Make
sure you have a friend who knows what you do and will support
you. In the end, you have yourself and your own strength: trust
yourself and your inner feelings, as they will always protect
you. See yourself as worthy, what you do as worthy, and let this
be known to your friends too.
45. With
escorting, know your boundaries and don't drink too much.
46. If you
try the clubs, remember it's often five or six nights a week and
you have to drink. The sex fee sounds lucrative but it's not every
night or even every week. You've got to get dressed up and often
pawed by drunken men till 2 or 3am in the morning, for a small
hostess fee. However, if you enjoy going out and drinking, this
could be for you.
47. Clubs
with a private membership are safer because the club has a record
of the clients' names and addresses.
48. Saunas
usually want a massage diploma and they don't encourage full sex.
49. Being
on the street may seem the easiest way of being on the game but
remember most of the hunting grounds are someone's patch girl/boy-wise,
pimp-wise, dealer-wise and police-wise.
50. Whichever
way you choose, you will have to pay someone, somewhere (like
all work). There are a lot of organisations around to help you,
if you need it.
For helplines
and other legal advice please visit our
legal advice page.
Jahnet de
Light is a Tantric Sex Teacher.